A Month In London

October, 2019

4th week in London

I am in London now. Always said I was going to live here and now I do. It’s crazy that I’m finally here. London is almost everything I expected and did not want to expect. But here I am, Thursday morning having listened to a bunch of 2000 R&Bs.

It’s not to say London is not like that. If I can tell you, London is a mess. If you asked me last weekend how I feel about London, I would say a chaotic and emotional mess. Hahaha.

Some guy on a double decker bus looked at me walking and then smiled to himself and I thought about the numerous times I’ve done that to a stranger because they reminded me of somebody, a place, moment or myself. I wonder what I reminded him about. Maybe he used to live in the housing circle I live in or somebody special did and he came every other day.

As many people as there are, it’s still quite lonely for me here in London. I’m sure everyone goes through that when they first move halfway across the world but it’s really daunt on me that my family were my best friends. My parents and my little brother are my home, but that I have become my own home too especially when your family is thousands of miles away.

So far though, I have loved all the people I have met. Their urban style and open mindedness has made it easy to have constant conversations about the world and our surroundings. Growing up in Southeast Asia with a huge Aussie-Brit lingo influence, it really feels at home to hear that distinct humor and language used here. Mind you, I’m currently walking and typing this because I walk so much here it feels tiresome and draining when I don’t make productive use of my thoughts when I walk.

My first friends at university that I met on the 1st day of induction: Ibraheem, Zoia, and Noah.

Me and Anisa in Chinatown.  Her mum and my mum studied French together almost 20 years ago and 17 years later Anisa and I are both studying university in London. What are the odds and not. So many coincidental stories like that here though!

Amirah, Nelly, and I. It’s so good to have a friend from home here in London. Can’t believe Amirah and I used to live down the street from each other in 5th grade and now we’re here, 8 years later.

Every new day I learn more about self-growth. There is a constant in my head in observing everything around me and trying to understand or accept why things happened the way they did or why this person did this to me and how I believe they shouldn’t have. Gradually, 5 months out of high school and now living alone, has allowed me to push myself to be more accepting and understanding of what goes on. I think it was always easy to come back home and complain to my mum about my day and have her make me special nasi goreng and I would end the day with netflix in bed.

My mum in front of the Thames. She left London 2 weeks ago.

Now when I start to pick on on some bitter things during my day, I walk home and tell myself that there is no time to spill emotions on it because I need to do the laundry, make food, take a shower, and force myself to read. It’s really about accepting the day as it is because there is simply no time I can waste. And I always wanted to be in London and now I’m finally here. There IS no time to waste.

This idea simply made me realize that you have to choose to have a good day. I know we hear it all the time but it’s so real when you live alone. I keep on emphasizing I live alone because I don’t live in a student dorm so it’s as if I’m really living this student life differently. I live in a flat with 3 other people, 2 professionals and 1 other uni student. They are all quite lovely. The girl here who’s 5 years older than me could be like my older sister. Occasionally I’ll pass by her in the kitchen and we’ll talk for a bit. She works for JP Morgan. The uni student whose room is across me is studying computer science. He’s pretty cool. The other guy, I’ve only seen once while doing my laundry. Nevertheless, London is quite an independent city so a bunch of my friends aren’t living in the uni dorm and we still have a lot going on.

I DREAD AND DESPISE hiking up to the peak of Greenwich park, but here we are, once again. Always a nice view from the top. My university is the one behind me and the tall buildings across it is the area where I live.

Moving for university has allowed me to put in perspective the people I knew from high school. The friends that truly matter, the ones you’d like to keep in touch for the networking, and the majority you honestly could care less about. It really only has been 2 months but you start to notice the people from your class. Those who want, will, and can. Those who want to, have to, but couldn’t, and those who should but have other plans.

The big part is, moving to London, settling in, and befriending people who knew nothing about you, is a big part of realizing that you have stepped in a new chapter of your life. When I first met the people who are my friends now, I thought about how we’re all hanging out right now but really have no single clue about each other’s past, and somehow managed to find each other in this new part of our lives…